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holyhikari · 5 years ago

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Okay. Okay. It’s 2020, most of the world is shut down and the first episode of Digimon Adventure aired yesterday, missing a ‘Butter-Fly’ and with a colon to spare. Life sure is something.

Gotta say I’m relieved. (For now, at least.) Sure, yeah, I got into the hype train for the reboot from the get-go and determined to just have fun, but. If I can picture all the ways something can go wrong — go BORING — down to excruciating details right from the first episode, why not? That’s what brains are for. So that’s what I did.

Should have saved all that energy.

I want to share with all of you my thoughts on this episode, break it down a little bit; how it made me feel, the few character introductions we got, the pace, the plot and its possibilities.

As much as I want to approach this series keeping the idea of authenticity in mind, it is a reboot. They chose a certain set of (popular!) pre-existent characters to explore, to work with; a balance between creating and adapting. And I’m very interested in seeing how they’ll combine the core elements of Digimon Adventure with all there is unique to this generation of kids, teens and, you know it, adults who stuck around.

Since all we’ve got is the introduction to the series, I’ll be contrasting TOKYO DIGITAL CRISIS to how the original Adventure kicked off back in 1999 with ADRIFT? THE ISLAND OF ADVENTURE!

I did try to keep this as coherent and review-like as possible, but there’s a fair amount of fan-girling and it’s all seen through my very biased Adventure-stan-colored lens. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

‘99 starts with an image of our planet, and ‘20 starts almost the same. This time, though, we can see we aren’t alone. ‘The Digital World affecting the Earth’ is something that happens, I believe, in every Digimon reincarnation. In ‘99, it’s deeply affecting our climate. Now, the issue doesn’t seem so drastic that it’s able to reach influence organic matter and mess up many Nature’s cycles across the globe, but it’s still not looking so good for our kids. (It’s the first episode and Hikari and Yuuko almost get train-sandwiched, but I suppose that almost having your head chopped off, courtesy of Kuwagamon, isn’t lovely either.)

Anyway.

I think this Digital World/Network shot isn’t actually part of the episode? I think it’s part of the opening (I mean, not the OP sequence with the song, obviously), and that we’ll be seeing it before each episode starts. Still, it’s an interesting juxtaposition, isn’t it?

A Glorious World is upon us! I wasn’t actually expecting Butter-Fly or anything similar to it, don’t worry. I’m glad the new OP is its own thing! I want Digimon Adventure ‘20 to be as authentic as possible without losing the original’s heart. The song is nice enough. I don’t want to compare it to Butter-Fly, but I’m only human. Give me a few episodes. Gotta let go.

The OP has way more Taichi than the others. No surprise there. He’s our goggle boy. (Still, since they went for a quick throwback to the original opening, it’s a shame only Taichi was shown falling down towards the Digital World).

Everyone got a part, though. Shout out to Takeru and Hikari for being yet again the ominous, powerful baby-faced duo that is definitely up to something.

It’s so interesting that, while the other crests are shown very clearly and surrounded by sparkles, Light and Hope are only shown briefly shining in their partners’ shadows. Why is Takeru so far away from us, why is this so sinister-looking. Hi, mysterious plot. Nice to meet you.

Wherever Hikari is by the end of the OP, it reminds me of Vamdemon’s castle. Maybe she feels connected to Tailmon and follows her somehow? Angemon wasn’t shown in the OP with the older six children’s partners, just Patamon. I wonder if they’ll try to make us grieve for Angemon a second time. It’d work with me. Either way, I imagine we’re in for another last-minute Patamon evolution when everything looks hopeless.

This time, though, we’ve got Hikari from the beginning (yes, I am VERY excited about this, thank you for asking, THIS IS WHAT I DESERVE), and, while I think Patamon is more powerful in regular conditions (as in, Angemon can probably take Angewomon in a fight despite the level imbalance, but as soon as Hikari starts glowing you know who’s winning), he will now be sharing the spotlight with another Archangel evolution… as his friend or as his foe, considering that Tailmon might be a double agent of some sorts in the beginning. Welp.

Anyway. Toei isn’t fooling around, in the OP we can see MetalGreymon in a very scary-looking, glitchy fashion that I’m LIVING for, WarGreymon’s silhouette and, good grief, there’s even a glimpse of Omegamon. Talk about too much information. Maybe chill out a little? (I say this, but the adults already know all of their evos, and the kids just want MOOOOOOORE monstahhhhhrrrrrrsss….which is fair.)

MetalGreymon looks dope here. The others, though, are only shown up to their Adult evolution, even Gabumon. I don’t think they will have only Gabumon and Agumon reaching their Mega forms, and then fusing into Omegamon while everyone else only gets as far as Perfect. Again.

They wouldn’t do this to us. Right? Yeah, they would. Maybe we can have Holydramon/Ophanimon and Seraphimon later on, as a treat. Aaaaaand, depending on how many episodes — how many seasons — this new timeline gets, I’m not giving up hope just yet. Let me have Phoenixmon, Toei, you heartless thing.

Moving on to the actual episode… The first non-Digimon character to show up is the true protagonist. Our queen is back. Our little Digivice thief, Miko herself.

Just you wait, you ain’t gonna be Hikari’s favorite cat-like creature for long.

Speaking of Hikari, LOOK AT THIS WITTLE BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2020 Taichi right off the bat was Taichi for me. He’s talking to Yuuko and yells “Hikariii~” so loudly Hikari hears it from where she stands, the short cutie. Their mom just hands down the phone for her without missing a beat so Taichi can comfort her through whatever she’s worrying about (her summer classes, probably). Such a sweet, natural little moment that flashes both characters out. I want more of that, please.

We’re then introduced to Koushiro! I’m not gonna lie, I cringed the first time I heard him speak. I thought the voice didn’t fit him very well. This impression faded quickly enough, though, and I’m already attached to his new voice. Later, I realized that part of the reason he sounded off to me was because of how nervous he seemed — around Taichi, of all people! In this version, they’re just meeting for the first time, so it’s very in-character for him. Guess I was kinda shocked seeing Koushiro not feeling at ease talking to Taichi. Poor thing is Anxious! And he’s overthinking about Summer Camp! And he’s happy Taichi is his neighbor! That certainly would’ve helped during the Vandemon arc back in ‘99.

Koushiro gets a little bit over his awkwardness upon hearing the news regarding the cyber attack, something he’s curious about, and finally steps towards Taichi instead of away, which is spot on. These two fall into an easy camaraderie, as they SHOULD, and they head to the train station together, where Taichi decides to, I don’t know… run like crazy on the tracks until he gets to the rogue train where his family is and stop it with sheer force of will? Yeah! Sounds like him!

And now to one of the most interesting parts of this adaption, is that they’re showing us the Crests early on and HOW they’re doing it.

Taichi is able to meet Koromon because he’s being brave.

I mean, the first time, he was chosen because of his courage, too, but they all go in together. They’re taken. They’re washed off the Earth. And while Taichi had no idea he was going to be pulled into the Net, he chose to try to save Hikari and his mom (and, a few moments later, he chose to dive in towards Koromon). This time, it feels so much more personal. The screen switched back and forth between the Crest of Courage, Taichi and Hikari, who I believed called his name. The scene worked so well! (Following this pattern, Koushiro gets his Digivice when expressing curiosity, the will to pursue an explanation for what was happening!!!!)

On the other hand, it’s sort of bittersweet they weren’t pulled in together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they didn’t try to introduce all of them AND the Digital World at the same time again. But… ‘99 established them as a ‘team’ within seconds. It’s interesting, though. I’m VERY curious to see how their bonding will go this time around!

Taichi and Koromon meeting was beautiful. I was worried the soundtrack wouldn’t even stand a chance against the masterpiece that is the original one, but the musing playing was so delicate, so majestic. I felt I was witnessing a precious moment. Also, Koromon’s ears twisting into how we represent the DNA while he was evolving was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUCH A GOOD DETAIL!!!!!!

It cracked me up when Koushiro said that what was happening was very surprising while not sounding surprised at all. I wonder how long the kid has been looking into the cyber attacks. Oh, and the Network is pretty. Prettier than I had anticipated, though not that different from Appmon’s style, I think? I can’t wait to get a look at the actual Digital World and see if it has that unique feeling and that odd, watercolor painting aesthetic. I hope I can trust the OP:

Did you notice that Agumon giggled a few times? He looked at Taichi with such love, familiarity and devotion and like he knew something. It felt… right. My heart. My poor, poor heart. (I know this Agumon probably has met Taichi before inside of this very Universe, like the Hikarigaoka incident in the original version, but I like to think about Universe-hopping platonic soulmates.)

Overall the sound work was fantastic, but this scene deserves a highlight. The noise of the Kuramon lookalike moving after evolving was genuinely disturbing. And look at how pretty this is:

Speaking of evolution, AGUMON EVOLVING INTO GREYMON WAS THE SHIT. I loved how straight-up FERAL it was, while still keeping the “Digital” part of “Digital Monster” very much present. It reminded me a bit of Hosoda’s Greymon (most amazing Greymon to this day!) in the Digimon Adventure Movie and, now that I think of it, of him fighting in some Tri. Reunion scenes. Scary Greymon is the best Greymon. Yes. I like it when the Digimon manage to disturb and scare me, okay? They aren’t called monsters for nothing.

I mean we got to see his horn literally bursting out of his skin. This is low-key terrifying. 10/10.

BUT WHERE IS THE EVOLUTION THEME SONG

I am: deceased. Cause of death: Hikari’s soft smile when she realizes her big brother managed to help them.

Alternatively, this first pic had killed me on the spot.

FINALLY, we get to see Yamato, and of course, he’s staring down dramatically at Taichi on top of Garurumon like the intense person he is. And, no big deal, there’s a cyber attack in a U.S military base and, uh, apparently the next episode is the 2020 version of Bokura no War Game?!

I— WHAT?!

No pressure, am I right? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be falling off a good ol’ cliff with my camping buddies.

To be honest, if they intended to end it like this, it felt like this should’ve been a special episode. Maybe one-hour-long or so? Why……….HOW……….. They wanna go from the pilot straight to a Bokura no War game tribute?! The very movie that introduced Omegamon. I swear, if Omegamon’s debut is the SECOND episode, I’m gonna break. How is this gonna work. Well, at least they have us… intrigued?

The ED is so Yamato-focused it’s almost weird that his voice actor isn’t the one singing lmao. That amount of Yamatoness got me by surprise. Some of the pics look like a PowerPoint presentation of CD cover ideas for his yet-to-exist (or not) band… and I say this lovingly, okay? I love him so much.

This is my favorite one!

I lost count of how many times I listened to this song!! It also got me hooked up. What’s up with Takeru and how the writers took the whole Angel aesthetic to a whole new level?! Is he sick? Is he dying? Is this why Yamato is so sad and lonely throughout the ED?????? EVERYONE GO BEFRIEND HIM. I heard he’s a good friend.

Be right back, I’m gonna tattoo this pic to my face.

Bonus commentary!

I bet I wasn’t the only one looking for random cameos whenever they showed us crowds. Didn’t find anyone we know, but I’m sure this will change. 02 characters cameos, I’m ready for you.

Soooooooooo the Tachikawa own a tech company this time?? For all we know they own Japan. That’s scarier than the Diablomon-like virus giving Trump a headache. If so, Mimi is gonna be way more spoiled than before. Oh, dear.

I HOPE WE SEE MORE OF THESE PIXEL BABIES! That was a perfect Easter egg.

If none of these icons at the bottom is the Digimon Analyzer, then what’s the point of my entire existence?

I can’t wait for next Saturday! Even if solely to yell “WHY??????” at my screen.

I can’t thank you enough if you read this far!

#digimon #digimon adventure psi #psi spoilers #bea with the tea #I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WRITING THIS AND........ IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD.......... OK #long post

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duhragonball · 3 years ago

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[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (151/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: This story takes place about 1000 years before 66 years after the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[27 February, Age 850. Toki Toki City.]

"I'll be honest," Trunks said. "I don't know if we can rely on her."

He stood in the kitchen of Chronoa's house, his lavender hair casting a gloomy shadow over his concerned brow. The Vault of Time looked like a fortress in the center of the Time Nest, a daunting structure of grey stone. In sharp contrast, the Supreme Kai of Time lived in a modest Capsule house, with rocket engines and other half-assembled machines scattered all around it. The epicenter of this clutter lay inside the house, where Chronoa maintained a collection of gadgets and nick-nacks. Some were displayed on overcrowded shelves, while others lay in various piles strewn in every room. Trunks had cleared an assortment of vacuum tubes off the stove to brew tea.

"You made the wish," Chronoa said from her sofa. "You asked Shenron for a strong ally, one who could help you defend time itself. And Shenron granted your wish. He sent you Luffa. Do you think the Eternal Dragon made a mistake?"

"The Dragon doesn't make mistakes," Trunks said. "At least, that's what I would have said before today. But now, she's blown a mission, and she's terrified at the thought of trying again. What's worse, we can't afford to send anyone else in her place. The enemy made a big play in that battle with the Ginyu Force, and if we reset the mission we might lose our chance to track them. Oh, and I almost forgot how she got you hurt."

"You're being unfair," Chronoa said. "Healing Luffa's injuries was my call, not hers. You saw how upset she was. I didn't think we could wait to get her to the hospital."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," Trunks said. "Your healing ability transfers the wounds of others onto yourself. You've used it on me before, and I'm grateful, but... A power like that... Well, it bothers me. I don't know how else to put it."

"It has its uses," Chronoa said. "You can learn a lot about someone by taking on their pain for a little while."

The staff at the Toki Toki hospital had healed the Kai, but her movements were slightly stiff and more careful than usual. Most people wouldn't have noticed, but Trunks could tell. The healers in Toki Toki City were capable of restoring a person to perfect health in a matter of moments, but somehow they never seemed to finish the job properly when it came to the Supreme Kai of Time. He didn't know why that was, or what it meant. So he chose to focus on the kettle and making sure he had the correct burner turned on.

"Are you ready for the water?" Chronoa asked.

Trunks was about to ask what she meant, and then the kettle began to whistle. As he reached out for the handle, he noticed a slight distortion around the kettle's surface. Then he looked back and saw the Kai holding out her hand towards the stove. He had seen her do this before, using her control over the flow of time to speed up or slow down the movements of objects, but he hadn't considered how this could be used to boil water.

"Uh, thanks," Trunks said. "I guess that's one ability I can get used to."

He prepared the cups and brought them to the coffee table next to the sofa. Then he double checked the sofa for any loose circuit boards or cogs. When he was sure the cushion was clear, he sat down beside her.

"You're so sure that Luffa will recover from all of this, and then she'll come back and see this mission through," he said. "I don't suppose you can speed that up the same way you did the kettle."

"Maybe I could," she said with a childish grin, "but I'm in no hurry with her. It's like we always say around here: There's time."

"I know," Trunks said. "I mean, I understand that Toki Toki City sits outside of the normal flow of time, and that it doesn't matter if we send her back to Namek today or a year from now. But we still have to send her back eventually, and until we do, we can't do anything else in the meantime."

"Sure we can!" Chronoa said. "We're having tea, aren't we?"

"I... I'm not gonna win this discussion, am I?" Trunks said with a sigh. "All right, fine. Could you at least share with me why you're not worried about Luffa? Maybe then we could both enjoy our tea."

"Sure!" Chronoa said, "Why didn't you ask sooner?" She set her cup on the table and held up her hands to start counting her fingers as she spoke. "First, I know enough about the Dragon Balls to know they wouldn't let us down. Second, I've learned a thing or two about Saiyans from working with you, Trunks. I don't think she'll give up on this. She's too stubborn. And third... if there's one thing I know about time, it's that it doesn't matter how you start. It's how you finish. Each of those wounds she took tells a story. I'm nothing special when it comes to fighting, but I could tell this much: she was battling harder than her body could handle."

"What do you mean?" Trunks asked. "Are you saying she lost because she overexerted herself?"

"I mean," she said as she picked up her cup to sample the tea, "she's stronger than she's letting on. I don't know if she's sandbagging for some reason, or maybe she doesn't realize what's happening to her. But she's giving it everything she has. More than she has to give, really."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Trunks asked. "What good will it do us if she burns herself out before we get to the bottom of this case?"

"Well, it's a good thing she has you for a partner, then," Chronoa said with a smile. "Besides, I think you need to give Luffa some more credit. She knew better than to dive right back into the mission. I'm sure she's taking some time to rest and recover before she tries again."

"I hope you're right," Trunks said as he sipped his tea.

*******

[3 November, Age 762. Earth.]

Luffa used to be the Legendary Super Saiyan, but she no longer had that extraordinary power. She didn't know why, unless it had something to do with her attempted self-destruction on Planet Nagaoka, or the intervention of Shenron, a mystical dragon who had reached out across time and space to pull her out of that battle and into the ranks of the Time Patrol. Luffa had fully expected to die on Nagaoka, but instead she wound up in the distant future, an era where the Saiyan species was nearly extinct, and the legend of Luffa had been utterly forgotten. With no other prospects, she threw herself into the work of the Time Patrol, until she was traumatized during a mission involving a bodyswap with the villainous Captain Ginyu.

Fear and shame had given way to boredom, and Luffa had decided to try a different activity to take her mind off her troubles. Her roommate had suggested a "Parallel Quest", and she had found a pair of Time Patrollers who offered to show her how they worked. They had planned to handle all the fighting while Luffa sat back and watched, but things had gotten out of hand.

"Luffa... run!" begged Ravi. The enemy had defeated him almost instantly, and Ravi's boyfriend, the Saiyan Mosh, was the next to fall. As Luffa knelt beside Ravi, the enemy floated high above and charged a ki attack in his index finger. Ravi's advice was very sensible.

Except Luffa couldn't run. "I'm stuck!" she told Ravi. "Some kind of psychic hold..."

"I can... reverse it!" Ravi promised. The Earthling held up his hand and offered it to her. "Take my hand, and be ready to move."

Their enemy was another Earthling called Chiaotzu, but he looked nothing like the little person Luffa had encountered in other missions to this era. Chiaotzu was at least four times his original size now, with bulging muscles and a look of unthinking hatred in his eyes. When Ravi saw him, he addressed Chiaotzu as his Master. It followed that Chiaotzu had taught Ravi how to apply this psi-lock, and how to reverse it.

And then, just as Chiaotzu fired his beam, Luffa felt her body slip free of the psychic power, and she leaped out of harm's way. The ground beneath her exploded into a fiery crater, and she alighted onto the top of a butte.

Ravi wasn't pleased with her decision to bring him along for the ride.

"What're you... doing?" he asked. "I'll only slow you down! You gotta... get Mosh out of here!"

"That's exactly what that big goof is counting on," Luffa said, gesturing toward Chiaotzu in the distance. "As soon as I put you down, he'll slap another psychic whammy on me, and I'll be finished. But as long as I keep you close by, you can protect me from those weird powers of his."

"Girl, that won't work!" Ravi protested. "He'll just come in close and pick you off! You can't fight and carry me at the same time!"

"I'm not going to fight him," Luffa said. "Not yet, anyway. I have to save your lover first."

"He...! I...! I mean, we're dating, but we aren't that serious yet!" Ravi stammered.

Luffa might have apologized for the presumption, but Chiaotzu opened fire one again, forcing her to hop from one rock formation to the next to stay clear of his attacks. The hard part came when she reached Mosh's position, and had to carry them both. Their combined weight was no trouble, but the easiest way to handle a Saiyan of Mosh's size was to drag him by his tail, and Luffa felt bad for putting him though such an undignified situation. Luckily, his ordeal was brief, as she made it to their time machine soon after.

"Inside!" Luffa shouted as she kicked open the canopy with her foot and dropped Mosh in. The Saiyan was nearly as tall as the corrupted Chaiotzu, but the time machine was big enough to hold three passengers, so she knew they would fit with room to spare. "You'll be safe in there."

"Luffa wait!" Ravi cried. "We--"

She might have stopped to listen, except Chiaotzu had closed in on her while she was dropping them off. With her arms free, Luffa swatted aside his ki blasts, but then he locked on his psychic hold, and she was immobilized in midair.

"Come on!" she growled, unable to do anything else. "Free shot, if you're brave enough to take it!"

For Chiaotzu's part, it wasn't a matter of bravery, but rather the irrational rage that consumed his thoughts like a brushfire. He charged toward Luffa, and began to pummel her with his massive fists. Luffa had been in a similar pinch while fighting Guldo of the Ginyu Force, but she decided against the strategy she had used before. In that battle, she had push against the psychic lock with her own telepathic abilities. At the time, it had seemed sensible, but she didn't want to become over-reliant on her Saiyan telepathy. She wasn't sure it would be available the next time she faced Guldo...

The next time... while she was trapped in...

... in Captain Ginyu's body...

As Chiaotzu worked her over, the realization hit her that much harder. Despite her fears, without really being aware of it, she had already made up her mind to go back and try again. She had come to this "parallel quest" in an effort to distract herself from the Ginyu mission, but in her heart of hearts, she was still fighting that last battle, even as she fought a new one against this mutated Chiaotzu.

There was something terrific and horrifying about this. It was as though her Saiyan heart would push her forward no matter badly she wanted to give up. Saving Ravi and Mosh had almost been second nature to her. Less than an hour ago, Luffa had been curled up in a fetal position in the shower.

And then, at last, the answer came to her. If Chiaotzu wanted her to hold still so badly, then she would oblige him. Instead of using her power to try to break free, she concentrated her energy inwards, using every last bit of it to fix herself to that spot. She clenched her teeth as she waited for the next blow, and when it came...

There was a loud 'clang', and Chiaotzu reeled with pain as he clutched his fist. Thanks to her ki, Luffa's body had no give to it whatsoever. She had been unhurt, while Chiaotzu's aching knuckles left him in too much pain to maintain his hold on her.

"That trick won't work on me anymore," she snarled. "Get that through your thick skull. You'll have to try something else if you want to defeat me.

He glared at her with those wide, enigmatic eyes, then said only one word: "Corn..."

"What?"

Then he rushed towards her, throwing punches and kicks with incredible speed. "Coooooorrrrrrn!" Chiaotzu wailed, seemingly for no reason.

"My name's Luffa, not Corn, you idiot!" she screamed. Fast as he was, she managed to weather the assault and responded with an explosive wave. It wasn't enough to defeat him, but it did give her some breathing room.

She pressed the attack, and danced around him, shifting left and right through the air to catch him off balance. But whenever she went in to strike, he was always ready to block.

"Hold on... You're good," Luffa said. "But not this good. What are you trying now...?"

(Luffa, he's reading your mind!)

She suddenly heard Ravi's voice in her own thoughts, and she glanced back at the time machine to make certain he and Mosh were still inside. Chiaotzu capitalized on this by kicking Luffa in the head. The blow sent her down to the ground, hard enough to shatter a nearby hillside, but not enough to defeat her.

"Oh, is that right?" Luffa grumbled after coughing up some dust. "I should have figured that out sooner."

(In my native era, Chiaotzu was an old man,) Ravi explained. (I didn't have much going for me, but he took me in. I was stealing food from his farm, and he invited me to join his dojo. He offered me a chance to become a warrior. This... this isn't how he's supposed to be!)

"I know that," Luffa said as she dodged another Dodonpa. "He's been corrupted by the same evil magic as the others. In this time fragment, the enemy must have used their power on him instead of Vegeta. Or... hell, I don't know."

"Nine...!" Chiaotzu groaned. "Minus... One!"

Luffa threw a punch, expecting him to block and counter. She fully intended to reverse his counter, but instead she was surprised to see her punch connected this time. It wasn't enough to stop Chiaotzu, but it did stagger him.

"Well now..." Luffa said with a grin, "maybe you're not as tough as I thought." She tried to follow through with a roundhouse kick, but Chiaotzu blocked this one and caught her in a throw. Before she could escape, Chiaotzu caught her with another psychic hold, and she was helpless to stop herself from being hurled into a cliffside.

"Left! Right!" Chiaotzu screamed. "Right, right, right! Left!"

Luffa took her frustration out on the rubble that surrounded her, blasting it all away until she was standing in the center of a crater. "I've had enough of your riddles!" she shouted back. "Do your worst. I won't back down until--"

"Disappear!" Chiaotzu said in a dreary monotone. And then he did disappear. Or at least, it seemed like he had. Faster than Luffa's eyes could follow, Chiaotzu suddenly appeared behind her, and caught her in a full nelson. With his immense size and power, the pain of the hold was incredible.

"Dis... a... peeeear....!" Chiaotzu said as Luffa grunted and struggled to break free. "Wish..."

"Shut up!" Luffa shouted. "You'll wish you were dead when I'm finished with you!"

But for all her bluster, Chiaotzu's psychic effect was making it difficult for her to escape the hold. Luffa considered herself an expert on such things. Joint locks were one of her specialties, and every hold she knew was accompanied by the way to escape. But these all depended on being able to control herself, and her body just wasn't responsive enough.

(Luffa, that's it!) She heard Ravi in her mind again. (He wants you to beat him!)

"Oh he does, does he? Well... he's got... got a funny way of showing it," Luffa snarled.

(Listen to me! When I was younger, he told me the story of King Piccolo. The Demon King gathered the Dragon Balls to wish for his youth, but Tien Shinhan told Chiaotzu to stop Piccolo by trying to make a wish first! 'Wish for King Piccolo to disappear!' that was what Chiaotzu tried to say, but Piccolo killed him before he could get it out!)

"Left, right, left right!" Chiaotzu droned on. Suddenly, Luffa felt herself moving forward. Chiaotzu's hold was as tight as ever, but he was floating forward, sliding across the air like a stone sliding over ice. He drove Luffa into a mesa. Then another, then another. Each time, the stone broke apart on Luffa's face like a punch from an angry giant.

(He wants you to kill him! To beat him) Ravi said. (That's his wish!)

"And how--ow! Does he expect me to do that?! Ow! Dammit!"

"Nine! Minus! One!" Chiaotzu wailed.

(That's it!) Ravi said. (When he fought Krillin in the World Martial Arts Tournament! Master Chiaotzu was always bad at math. Krillin beat him by calling out arithmetic problems, and he'd get so flustered trying to solve them that he'd leave himself wide open!)

"Fine!" Luffa muttered. "Hey, Chiaotzu! What's the square root of twelve?!"

She tried to kick at his thighs, hoping that she could cramp up his quadriceps muscle enough to make him loosen the full nelson, but instead Chiaotzu's psychic attack intensified, and she could barely move her leg enough to tap him with her heel.

"It didn't work!" she shouted, just as Chiaotzu drove her face first into another butte.

(That's because it was too hard!) Ravi said.

"Well, is he bad at math or not?!" Luffa demanded.

(Whoa, easy now. Easy,) Ravi said. (We're on the same side here!)

Luffa knew this on a factual level, but she was getting sick of Ravi's voice in her head, almost as much as she was sick of Chiaotzu's power locking up her muscles.

"What's six plus two, Chiaotzu?!" she shouted, desperate to get this over with. She almost hoped it wouldn't work, if only to disprove Ravi's suggestion. And yet...

"Uh... uhhhh..." Chiaotzu grumbled, and Luffa could feel her toes again, and a slight relief in her shoulders as his grip slackened.

"Hah!" Luffa said as she twisted her arms and slid free of Chiaotzu's hold. She withdrew to a safe distance, then opened fire with a volley of ki blasts. She expected Chiaotzu to avoid or deflect them, but they were nothing more than a diversion anyway.

"On your left!" Luffa shouted as she rushed headlong at him. Sure enough, Chiaotzu turned, expecting her to attack him on that side. She swerved at the last possible instant and blindsided him on his right.

"Ino...Shiko...Cho..." Chiaotzu moaned.

"Two minus three," Luffa said. It was almost disturbing how easy this was becoming. She hesitated a moment before trying a kick to Chiaotzu's abdomen, and yet she still managed to land the blow, and the elbow smash between his shoulders after that.

"What's 'InoShikoCho'?" Luffa asked aloud, hoping that Ravi was still listening.

(It's what he called one of our practice drills back at the dojo,) Ravi said. (Only... I don't know what that has to do with anything.)

"Don't worry," Luffa said. "I'll try and find out for myself--" As she spoke, Chiaotzu lumbered towards her, and she ducked under his massive hands and grabbed hold of his face. She hadn't tried a telepathic reading in a long time, but in her last Time Patrol mission, she had seen the Saiyan Son Goku use it on Krillin, which led her to suspect that she had recovered enough of her former strength to do the same. The Saiyans had a peculiar range of psychic talents, but before Luffa could reminisce on this, the images came flooding into her mind.

His name was Chiaotzu, and long ago he had trained under the Crane Hermit, a master whose skill was matched only by his cruelty and bitterness. The Old Crane School taught the ways of treachery and deception. Among these lessons was the InoShikoCho, a beast with the body of a boar and the antlers of a stag and the wings of a butterfly. To raise money during their training journeys, Chiaotzu and Tien Shinhan would use the InoShikoCho to grift small, isolated villages. The Crane Hermit had adopted it as a pet and trained it well, but it could pretend to be a wild animal when needed, and Tien and Chiaotzu would unleash it in villages, then offer to "capture" the beast... for a price. After pretending to subdue the InoShikoCho, and collecting their reward, they would move on to the next village and repeat the process.

But one day, Son Goku intervened. Stumbling upon the three of them sharing a meal between villages, he learned of their trickery, and when he tried to expose them, Tien was forced to betray the InoShikoCho to cover his tracks. After that, Tien and Chiaotzu knew that the creature would never trust them again. Eventually, Chiaotzu felt a similar grief when Tien defied the Crane Hermit, and Chiaotzu had to choose a side. The Crane Hermit swore he would have revenge, and when he returned, it was with his brother, the assassin Tao Pai-Pai, who beat Chiaotzu so badly at the World Martial Arts Tournament that he had to be carried out on a stretcher.

And this was what ran through Chiaotzu's mind now while he fought Luffa. Beneath the mindless rampage forced upon him by the dark magic, there was an undercurrent of sadness and regret and longing to be done with betrayal. As Ravi had said, in this moment, Chiaotzu wished for nothing more than to be made to disappear.

The depths of this despair shocked Luffa, so much so that when she snapped out of her mental link, Chiaotzu was able to knock her back with a well-placed chop to her neck. It was not enough to defeat her. Luffa knew that it would never be. For in spite of the increase in power the dark magic gave Chiaotzu, he was still holding back. The Earthling had that much willpower, at least.

"I see," Luffa said to him. "So this is the resolve of you Earthlings, then. Even in this sorry state, you keep fighting to resist this power that's come over you. It's impressive. Four minus three."

She dodged his next offensive and went around him, catching him in a belly-to-back suplex. This wasn't enough to stop him, but she was no longer trying to defeat him. Now that she understood how to beat him, she could secure victory at her leisure. Until then, she simply used her attacks to buy enough time to say her peace.

"I might not look it," she said, "but I used to be somebody important, a long time ago. Left left right." Chiaotzu fired the Dodonpa again, but she grabbed his arm and spoiled his aim, then swung around and brought her knee into his face.

"I'm not telling you this to brag. I'm not much of anyone now, not anymore. But I'm telling you this because I want you to know that I'm someone who impressed a lot of people, and you've impressed me today. Not sure if you can understand what I'm saying, but I needed to get it off my chest, okay? Your students, your memories, your pride, everything you are keeps fighting, even after your mind and body have been corrupted like this. It's... comforting. Twelve plus six. Galick Gun."

Now she was ready to defeat him. The Galick Gun she fired came quickly, with as little warning as she could give. That made it weaker than it could have been, but Ravi's prediction was true: Chiaotzu was so distracted by the numbers that he was virtually defenseless. Even a weak Galick Gun would be enough to knock him out. She intensified the power anyway, once she was certain he was too overwhelmed to stop it.

"I see what I have to do now!" she shouted. And then with a savage cry, she chased after Chiaotzu, and leaped down beside him where he fell.

"You've shown me the way," she said in a low voice as she checked to make certain he was beaten. The dark energy dissipated, and his body began to shrink to its normal size. "I'm in your debt, Earthman. I guess I should cook something tasty for your student Ravi, who honors your teachings."

Satisfied that the immediate danger was over, Luffa gathered Chiaotzu in her arms, and went back to the time machine to collect Ravi and Mosh.

*******

[28 February Age 850. Toki Toki City.]

"That should hold, for now anyway."

In the Time Vault, Trunks and the Supreme Kai of Time stood before the large table at the center of the atrium. She had just finished performing a supernatural treatment on a section of parchment from the Scroll of Eternity. Trunks did not even pretend to understand how it worked, but she said it would help, and that was good enough for him.

"Let's hope it lasts," Trunks said. "I've checked for signs of enemy activity. Nothing so far, but I can't believe they'll stay quiet for long. If they strike again... I don't suppose you can contain the ripples from two time anomalies, can you?"

The Kai looked up at him with a confident smirk. "Hey, I can do a lot of things, you know?" This made him feel a little better, but there was still a hint of worry in her eyes that kept him from smiling.

"At least we know if they strike somewhere else, we can send other Time Patrollers to deal with that," Trunks said. He gestured at the scroll on the table, which still roiled with purple energy. "But we can't resolve this current anomaly without Luffa, and there's no telling how long that could take."

"She'll be back," Chronoa said. "And we'll manage until she's ready."

He was about to reply, when suddenly a third voice called out.

"Trunks!"

He had already turned to face the entryway before he heard the voice. His ki senses had told him who it was, but he was still surprised nonetheless. Luffa marched up to the table with purpose and laid a casserole dish on the table with a loud thud.

"Luffa! Y-you're back?" Trunks asked.

"I would have gotten here sooner, but I wanted to make sure Chiaotzu was okay, only they told me I couldn't bring him back to the city. Parallel Quest stuff. It's over my head."

"You went on a Parallel Quest?" Trunks asked. "We thought you were resting..."

"After that," Luffa went on, "I made pasta for Ravi and Mosh. Took me a while, but I'm pleased with how it turned out. I made too much, and this is what wouldn't fit in the refrigerator. You like lasagna, Trunks?"

"Uh, sure," he said.

She stared at him, as though suspicious of his answer. "Good. Help yourself." She then looked at the Kai and added. "You too, Chronoa, if gods eat this sort of thing. Oh, you know what? I didn't bring any plates."

"I've got some in my house," Chronoa said. "We'll manage, but we really need to talk about how we're going to handle this scroll..."

"We already did talk about that, remember?" Luffa said. "And it's pretty simple. I'm the only one who can finish the mission, because of how I got bodyswapped with Captain Ginyu, right? So I'm going back in there, right now, and I'm going to finish it."

"Hold on," Trunks said. "You were in pretty rough shape a few hours ago. Are you sure you're feeling up to this?"

"I've got it all figured out this time," Luffa said. "Trust me."

She didn't even look at Trunks as she spoke, but instead leaned in and took the scroll before anyone could stop her. And as she vanished into the past, Trunks saw a sadistic grin on her face.

He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

NEXT: The Bluff.

#dragon ball #lssjluffafic #luffa #trunks #chronoa #ravi #mosh #chiaotzu #toki toki city

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years ago

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Random Writing Tidbit Breaks are Important…

… Tried to take a break from writing heavy angst by writing something cute.

It… Kinda ended up being a touch angsty, though. ^^;

So… This happened bc I saw something saying that the reason Sting Scorpion stings Horobi to transform him is bc it’s ‘attacking him’ for ‘forcing it to release its power’ and ‘evil’ (okay, so he’s a villain rn, but I’m still not giving up! ><) and I was like… How about nah? How about Horobi and Sting Scorpion are actually real tight? And the stinging is just, how they transform? I mean, Sting Scorpion did protect him from Breaking Mammoth (I know the obvious explanation is he summoned it, but sssshhhhhh). Plus, scorpions get a bad rep, and have all these negative connotations around them, but really, they’re just as much animals as any other animal—would be a perfect companion for Horobi, imo.

Anyway, I decided to combine that w/ the concept that Horobi was close to/part of the Hiden family, and that he and the ForceRisers were originally meant to be protectors from the conspiracy or something.

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“Sting Scorpion?”

He started when a voice came from behind him, snapping out of examining the Progrise Key he was holding to whirl around on the sofa and see who had spoken.

Korenosuke had managed to enter the room without his noticing, leaning on the back of the couch and looking over his shoulder. Seeing his surprise, the old man smiled warmly, chuckling a little. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” He said, giving the HumaGear a soft pat on the shoulder before coming around the sofa to sit beside him, “But Soreo told me you’d chosen a Progrise Key, and I was curious.” The man glanced down at the purple Progrise Key cradled in his hands, then back up at his face curiously. “So… Why Sting Scorpion? It’s not an animal most people would associate this sort of duty.”

Recovering from the shock, he twisted back around to sit straight, looking back down at the Key, running his thumb back and forth across the edge. “… It was lonely.”

Korenosuke raised an eyebrow—not judgementally, but thoughtfully. “Lonely? How so?”

There was a short silence as he considered how to answer. “Because…” He frowned slightly, staring sombrely into his lap. “… Because everyone is always afraid of it. So no one comes close.” He held the Key a little closer to his chest like he could comfort it, still stroking the rim gently. “… Like me.”

Korenosuke watched for a moment—then his serious expression transformed into another heartfelt smile. Leaning forward, he set his hands over the HumaGear’s, squeezing gently. “… Look at me.” He waited patiently the HumaGear lifted his head to meet his eyes, before continuing, his smile never wavering. “I promise you—both of you,” The amendment was accented by a slightly firmer squeeze of the Key, “That, no matter what, you will always have me.” After another brief pause, the HumaGear smiled faintly back, ducking his head shyly. Korenosuke’s own smile broadened, and he let go with one hand to smooth the HumaGear’s hair affectionately.

“Hiden-shachou?” They both looked over at the door, and the woman leaning through it. “The investors are ready for you.”

“Ah! Thank you, Yuka-san.” Straightening, the old man got to his feet, taking a moment to fix his suit. Finishing with his tie, he gave the HumaGear another smile, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I think,” He said, earnestly, “That you two will make for an excellent partnership.” Giving the HumaGear’s shoulder one last squeeze, he turned and followed the woman out.

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Little bit of an ‘ouch’ there. ^^ Of course, we still don’t know what happened (yet *looks pointedly at Toei*) but the idea of Korenosuke promising to always stand by past¡Horobi is very sad to me, given how they’ve ended up.

Also yeah, I like the concept of sentient gadget allies and them having partnerships w/ their users, so I decided that the Progrise Animals (as I’ve been calling them in my head) have their own, very basic AI, and, as a HumaGear/just being very sensitive/identifying w/ Sting Scorpion’s situation, Horobi was able to sort of ‘commune’ w/ it.

Anyway. Horobi and Sting Scorpion are now my brotp for this series, and no one can do anything about it.

#Random Writing Tidbit #Kamen Rider Zero-One #Kamen Rider Zero One #my precious evil stoic scorpion dad #well #back before he was evil #I refer to the Progrise Animals by the names of their Keys bc…#bc well I interpret that as being their names #not that they're named after the Keys but the Keys have their names on them #bc that's how they're summoned #loaded #whatever #why am I explaining this it's probably obvious #Binary Retro Rider

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pkmnjesus · 6 years ago

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Appmon quick FINAL thoughts

Wow! What a 7 months that was...I know I could have finished this series waayy sooner (especially if my blog wouldn’t have taken a break in July-August), but I had a life and future to worry about outside this tumblr bubble and in the end I’m glad I was able to find time to watch this series whenever I wanted to relax. Overall I really thought Appmon was good! I never really found a problem wit the episode pacing for important plot points, and I didn’t really find the beginning to be that boring really. At least it was better than Xros Wars’s first arc in my opinion. I can understand why maybe some people didn’t get into this because of maybe the humor it presented, or how much “filler” plot it had in certain episodes. I didn’t really see any episode to be filler (well maybe except the clip show in episode 26) because each episode at least addressed the main plot and how they could get one step closer to Leviathan. The series definitely wasn’t perfect, and I wished they would have used more of Appmon they gained throughout the series. At least with Xros Wars, you saw multiple appearances from many of Taiki’s Digimon that he had in his Xros Loader. At the same time, it really took me a while to understand how evolution worked and why the super grade needed to have a link most of the time. I just went with the flow and enjoyed what was shown to me on the screen lol.

I also have a few picky questions that really isn’t that significant but left me wondering...was Dantemon ever freed from being stone? Poor fella. Did L-Corp really just dissolve like that? No repercussions from its employees like Yuujin’s “mom”. And speaking of Yuujin...was that final scene confirm him to be alive again? If so, then I don’t get it lol...but I think it seemed to be like a dream or a fantasy from Haru? And Knight Unryuji man...I was a bit disappointed they didn’t bring him back for the final arc besides that short cameo in the end. His character had so much potential from what I was saw in him

Anyway with my minor complaints being out of the way, I pretty much love everything what Appmon was about. The theme of artificial intelligence taking over our world is interesting itself, and by using modern smartphone applications to this story presents a good example of how we today really so much on our phone and the internet to do everyday tasks and even in relaxing outside school or work. Honestly you don’t even have to be a Digimon fan to get into this series, because Appmon can stand alone on its own for being that unique. Sure it has some Digimon references (like the buddy partnership), but if you compare this to previous installments from the franchise it really gives off a different vibe from the characters and humor alone. Any sci-fi enthusiast would love a concept like this, and could easily get into this series.

I pretty much loved everyone from the main cast! Unlike other Digimon series where it actually took me a while to get in to the characters, I was intrigued with each one from the start (excluding Yuujin since I thought he was a side character in the first half of the series). From Haru’s adorkableness to help others (probably the most kind-hearted goggle protag out there), Eri’s badassery with a spice of elderly respect, and Astra’s eccentric attitude filming himself doing funny things while trying to follow in his family’s footsteps. BUT REI OH MY GAWD, he’s probably my favorite character! Episode 42 has to be my favorite episode from the series hands down. From being this punk hacker kid that drinks jelly juice we get to see a caring brother who wants nothing but to be cook good food for him...that drinks jelly juice too lol. And of course the best character of them all in everyone’s book the NOOOOOOOOOOOO guy. Probably one of the funniest gags I’ve seen in a series in quite a while. Pokémon typically does this stuff, but I’m happy to see Toei trying to format that with this goofy character. Too bad we never knew his name :(

For the Appmon, everyone was great! At times I did find Dokamon a bit annoying, but in a funny way xD He always made me laugh trying to get Eri’s attention. Offmon has to be my hands down favorite...I mean who doesn’t like Offmon?! JUST LOOK AT IT :3 Too damn adorable for this show.

I also really do wanna try and play the 3DS game too...then I realized it was only realized in Japan and I would probably need a 3DS emulator to get like an English translation -_- Oh well...maybe one day. But by looking at the cover art from the game, all I recognize is Haru, Gatchmon, and Offmon and I’m like WHO ARE YOU ALL YOU PEOPLE???? Probably the game’s AU xD

Anyway I don’t want to ramble too much about this and make this post long as it already is, but man what series that was...a highlight of 2018 for sure! And even though I am done with this series, that doesn’t mean that I can’t bring it up on my blog from time to time 👀I CAN FINALLY REBLOG STUFF FROM THE TAG NOW YESSSS (and I already saw similar posts of mine that were already GIFed and I wasn’t aware of it lol...was expected). To my new followers that I gained from this series (or old ones that liked Appmon too), please feel free to ask me questions or send me messages if you’d like to chat about it since I won’t be talking about it that much anymore moving forward after today. I don’t want to mention names, but I’m sure some of you are aware of a certain user that isn’t too fond of Appmon based on the reblogs on some of my posts. To each their own opinions, but please if you want to be critical and do nothing but hate, bash, and pull up ignorant arguments, don’t even bother getting a serious conversation with me lol....just putting it out there :^) I don’t hate anyone here, but I will ignore the ignorance, and hey you should too!

I know that a few Digimon Elitists and certain other folks feel a bit indifferent with Appmon (and some just judging a book by its cover), but you shouldn’t let that get to what you enjoy! This same goes for the Pokémon fandom as well, so I know the feeling. I personally will be an ambassador for Appmon to help spread to others (especially Digimon fans who don’t even know of this yet) when I get the chance to talk about it. I think I’ll start with my friend from college who watched Adventure to Frontier only...let’s see how he likes it xD

Again, I want to thank the Appmon fandom for all their kind words especially to @latiwings who always chats with me after each episode. It’s amazing how you can make friends by watching something! There are countless others too I want to mention, but it could be a long list lol...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE <3 I am also grateful to have some of my posts being reblogged by @digi-egg who (if some of you didn’t know) is probably the biggest Digimon blog on the tumblr fandom. Basically the equivalent to @shelgon in the Pokémon tumblr side of things. Finally I want to thank Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters, for teaching me how to be a protagonist in my own life. I needed something like this because of the struggles I had to overcome this year. Haru and Gatchmon, thank you for my spiritual buddies! We all need a Yuujin in our lives.

#P J's thoughts #Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters #Appmon #what a ride #and with that I bid this series a farewell <3 On to the next series whenever that is!

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redroseredemption · 6 years ago

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My Top 15 Best Sentai Openings

I love sentai. I know, shocking. I’ll give you a moment to pick up your jaw. Super Sentai is filled with action, a surprising amount of drama and men and women in colorful spandex! But for all of that, there are things we as fans tend to sometimes overlook. One of them being music. Toei, the owners of the Super Sentai franchise, make some great music. For this post, I’ll be looking at the opening themes to Super Sentai The opening to a show isn’t there to just show the title card and credits. It’s to show what the series is about with its theme song and visuals hoping to get you hyped up for it. Sometimes, we tend to remember the opening to a show more than the actual show itself. I will say, most if not all Sentai openings are very memorable and catchy, even the truly terrible ones...unfortunately, but that’s for another list. Before I start, I just wanna let everyone know that if you hate or like any of these, more power to you. Just please don’t harass me over it is all. With that said let’s head on into...

MY TOP 15 BEST SENTAI OPENINGS! Why top 15? Because there were too many good sentai openings to leave out! --- #15: Hyakujuu Sentai Gaoranger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8x5ea9f3rs) This opening is definitely not everyone’s cup and I can see why. The person who sings it sounds like he smokes 3 packs of cigarettes a day, but for an opening about a team of animal rangers, I think it fits well. However, I will admit it does get kind of old after binge watching for more than two hours. #14: Kyukyu Sentai GogoV (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87BBbm5Q-KI) A sentai about a team of firefighters, a pilot, a policeman and an EMT ( all of whom are siblings) deserves an epic opening and that’s what this song brings. The song has a sense of urgency to it that I think fits well with the show, even in the lyrics “Save the Earth! Save the Life(?)” It just fits well with the theme of the show. #13: Tensou Sentai Goseiger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nUT9Lr39pA) Goseiger is the most disappointing sentai ever, but that rant is for a whole other thread. Here, I’m actually going to say something good about Goseigers. The theme song is great. I love the instrumental at the beginning, I love how after that it becomes quit somber and then cheerful, with children cheering “Tensou” during the chorus. It’s a good song. #12: Taiyo Sentai Sun Vulcan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81ntnX6wEkg) The 70 sentai’s had very disco sounding openings. Even in Denjiman’s theme, you can hear the disco influence in the guitar riff, but starting with Sun Vulcan it seemed like there was a clear jump. I don’t know how to describe it since I’m not an expert on music, but you can clearly hear the difference. This opening to me signifies the change sentai would go through over the years. #11: Kagaku Sentai Dynaman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKcEvrOWhBc) Ah, Dynaman. The Michael Bay of Sentai. I swear, there are more explosions in the opening then some sentai’s have in their whole show! Anyways, its theme is extremely catchy. I mean almost all sentai themes are catchy but this one, in particular, will have you singing “Dy-dy-dy-dy-dynaman” ALL DAY. I also love the epic violin part at the beginning. It’s a solid 80′s sentai theme #10: Doubutsu Sentai Zyouhger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQa4P7b2NCA) Zyouhger is...meh. I only got 20 episodes in before dropping it. It wasn’t terrible, but it could be better. Maybe one day I’ll rewatch it and finish it, but for now, I’m putting on the back burner to watch other sentai seasons. It’s theme song, on the other hand, is fantastic. It has a very jungle feel to it which matches the theme of the show. My favorite part is when they do the call out to the rangers animals “EAGLE, SHARK, LION, ELEPHANT, TIGER” it honestly gives me goosebumps almost every time. #9: Chouriki Sentai Ohranger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iWRNAW6N1E)

Ohranger has the best theme song out of all the 90′s sentai in my opinion. Other than GogoV, the other 90′s Sentai theme songs range from ok to god awful. This was the season Toei and Super Sentai was going to go all out and you can hear that in the theme. Every time I listen to it, it gets me pumped! The chorus is honestly me my favorite part of the song (starts at the 1:00 mark in the video) Not much else to say other than it’s a great song and the best 90′s sentai theme. #8: Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kqFVvyKr6Q) Dekaranger was the first sentai I ever watched so there’s bit more bias in this one than just the theme is good. Like with the others before the music matches the theme of Dekaranger well. It has a sense of urgency to it like GogoV’s. The rangers are raring to go without a moment's hesitation. My fav parts have to be the beginning and the countdown. It might be a bit Engirshy, but its fun. #7: Choushinsei Flashman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzKTRJsoyvo) When I first heard the beginning of this theme, I knew I’d love it. The trumpets combined with the guitar just work so well. It’s also the first sentai theme on the list that actually makes me want to dance! It’s a shame this season isn’t fully subbed yet. Maybe one day. #6: Tokumei Sentai Gobuster (1st theme) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V-u08pynXs&t=104s) BUSTERS READY GO! Why did they have to change this theme? Seriously it was fine! The 2nd theme is...ok I guess. I know it was an attempt to rebrand the show due to declining ratings and toy sales, but to me, the first theme has way more impact and emotion. #5: Ressha Sentai Toqger: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW9q06Z9O1M) Want to make Trains seem cool? Put it to an awesome pop/punk song about imagination, and that’s exactly what they did here. No other sentai theme makes me want to headbang to it like this one. Everything about this theme is just fun! I hope in the near future, Toei brings in more rock themes to Super Sentai #4: Kosoku Sentai Turboranger: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTj4Ho4dQJY) I feel like I love this theme more than I should, but I really don’t care. This theme to me is the best 80′s-90′s sentai theme. Everything just works. From the trumpets to the double pedal, every instrument and sound just adds to the song, nothing feels like filler and nothing feels like it shouldn’t be there. Also, I think I like songs with the word “dash” in them because this is the second theme with it.

#3: Juuken Sentai Gekiranger: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIuvq0-XrJg) Now we’re getting into the hard part of this list. Honestly, I wish I could give this and the next two theme’s the number one spot, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t be a top 10, or 15 in this case, list if I just put multiple songs in one spot. Right off the bat, Gekirangers theme hits you with the classic Japanese instruments and then hits with a sort of modernization of those instruments and it’s like a beautiful explosion of martial arts. Makes me want to punch and kick my TV screen! (I suggest you don’t that) #2: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vToLwIEuI8) This is probably cheating, but I’ve never watched Shinkenger. I know! I know! Blasphemy! It was never that high on my “must watch” list...but that might have changed since after hearing the opening theme, because oh my god. To say that I was floored would be an understatement. This theme captures everything I want in a children's theme song. Catchy, high energy, fits well with the themes of the show and actually makes me want to watch it. The ONLY complaint I have is that the part before the chorus is a little too slow for my liking. Other than that this is almost a perfect theme. Before I continue to my #1. Here are a few HONORABLE MENTIONS: Chojin Sentai Jetman: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvwKKYUCwQk) It’s a good theme and will get stuck in your head all day long as you sing “Jeto, Jeto-Jetoman!” over and over again! Also, the dance exercise video of the song is a thing of beauty and must be seen! Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6aDs8cvReI) It’s such a fun and happy theme. It makes me feel all bubbly inside. The only problem? This theme is for a sentai about thieving PIRATES! While it’s a great song on its own, it just doesn’t fit with Gokaiger in my opinion. Chikyu Sentai Fiveman: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF6wqCtRug) Even though this was the series that almost killed super sentai, doesn’t mean it didn’t have a pretty good theme song. The first part is really good. The chorus, on the other hand, is a little weak, but it hangs in just enough to get on the honorable mentions list. Dengeki Sentai Changeman: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7MzNRs4CY) I don’t think any theme song makes me want to shake my finger around like the swing dancers do like Changeman theme does. This and Jetman’s theme would be tied for the 16th spot. And now. My number 1 sentai theme song is!... #1: Uchuu Sentai Kyuranger: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67dQUTP3Has) Is this a cop-out? Maybe, but I don’t care I love this song SO MUCH! Everything is nearly perfect about it. The vocals, instruments, the way it builds up, and the sense of hope it brings, that just because the universe is ruled by an evil tyrant doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there fighting it. A tiny flickering light in the void of darkness. That’s what this song fills me with and it’s the reason it’s my favorite sentai theme! Thank you guys! I hope you enjoyed this list! Let me know what you think and what are your favorite sentai theme songs!

#super sentai #uchuu sentai kyuranger #tokusatsu #Toku #top 10 list #top 15

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furederiko · 7 years ago

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The remaining piece for Legendary Argo is finally here! Will the Kyurangers succeed in obtaining it? Get the answer on Kyuranger's 19th episode...

- Wow, 2 weeks without Kyuranger feels like ages, eh? Well, not exactly *grins*. Anyways, let's start the episode with... PLUSHIES! Oh TOEI and Bandai, you just have to promote a product every time opportunity knocks, huh? But this time it's rather melancholic, because the bigger scene contains Champ who's still in pieces. Aaaaww... T_T. Painful flashback and all, this is an extended version of the cliffhanger we saw closing episode 18. What is Stinger up to? - At the same time, a massive armada of Consumarz is approaching Earth. Looks like Don Armage is getting... a little anxious about the planet, and that's because of The Argo. Rather than taking them all down, Commander Xiao thinks it's best for the team to race for the last piece of the Legendary Vessel instead. The #87 Carina Kyu Globe to be precise. One that is located in Planet Keel of the Carina System. Contrary to my complaint, turns out they DO need Pyxis to point out its specific location. TRIVIA: Carina is the Constellation of... Keel. As in, THE actual English name of a ship's crucial structural element. In this case, of course it's derived after the mythology of Argo Navis. Similar to Vela that was found in Planet Vela of the... Vela System, TOEI isn't even trying to be subtle by placing Carina in Planet Keel of Carina System. LOL. - Unfortunately, learning that his boss is getting cold-feet, Scorpio is more determined than ever to find the Argo as well. He revives another part of Madako, and tells the new gallant-dramatic personality version to watch over Earth while he's off hunting Kyu Globe in the Carina System. When I saw this episode on-air, I was quite puzzled to see how Madako is STILL alive. I mean, dang it, we all see how the persistent Octopus bit the dust in another universe! But on 2nd viewing, I've realized that there might be a logic to it. It makes good sense that Scorpio keeps a part of her body, for emergency cases, right? Which means, this isn't the remains of that Madako who died last week. What I still don't get is, HOW Scorpio manages to figure out the location of Carina? Did something we should've known occur off-screen as well? - We get to see Kotarou... on the monitor again. He's reporting that Stinger is missing from the HQ, and that the repair of Champ has probably reached around 60-70%. Unbeknownst to Xiao, Stinger himself shows up at the Orion not long after. To do what? To paralyze Garu and Raptor, and... steal Puppis and Vela Kyu Globe. Whooaaa there.... what's happening?! Is he betraying the team now? - The away team arriving on Planet Keel isn't faring better as well. While Lucky, Hammy, and Spada deal with rock-hard Malistrate Olmega (who somehow reminds me of "Tomb Raider"), the BN Thieves are attacked and trapped in vines by a mysterious person. Chamaeleon Green uses the #69 Caelum Kyu Globe to... 'fix' Olmega's face, causing the Malistrate to run off abandoning the villagers he enslaved. Village Elder tries to warn the three Kyurangers to avoid the Forest Guardian. But since they are racing against time, no time to hear long and winding fairy tale! LOL. - Said Forest Guardian who has captured Balance and Naga, is the Princess from... "Legend of Zelda". Wait... seriously? Nah, my bad... she just reminded me of Zelda. Her name is Eris (portrayed by gravure Idol Hinano Ayakawa), and apparently she has been entrusted to guard and protect the Carina Kyu Globe for many years. At least until "saviors in pursuit of the Argo" appears to take it. Eris might be a important character, but identity of the mysterious man requesting her aide might be a FAAAR bigger deal than her. I suspect this guy is going to play a VERY crucial part in future story. In fact, thanks to the tone-of-white costume he's wearing, can't help but wonder if he might somehow be related to... Lucky's past? Also... for some reason, the lower half of his face feels oddly familiar. There's something about it that rings a bell. Like I've seen it before. Could he be... a veteran Tokusatsu actor? Hmmmm... - Enough about Orion, and let's focus on Eris. Because there's a chance we might not see her again. Eris isn't only tough, because... she comes with a rather fickle personality. Eventhough she's clearly all over 'Ikemen' Spada (while shooting down poor Balance, who actually thinks she's her type), she doesn't trust the away team easily to hand over the Kyu Globe. Not even a very early (yeah, already?!) suitless roll-call is enough to convince her. Which is troublesome, because Scorpio has been spying them all these time, and ends up stealing the Kyu Globe in just one strike. Battle against Scorpio is ON!!! - The team is divided into two. Scorpio proves how heartless he is, by turning Olmega into his 'Zombie', and commands him to attack the village. Thus while Leo Red singlehandedly deals with Scorpio, the others have to stop Olmega. Much to Eris' dismay, who complaints that the Carina Kyu Globe she had spent all these time to protect, is far more important. Using the Shining Kyu Globe, Leo Red turns into Sun Leo Red and retrieves the item. A short-lived victory, because he has to let it go again in exchange for Eris' safety. - Dorado Yellow and the others manage to defeat Olmega, using the "Paper, Globe, Scissors" technique (utilizing Cancer and Scutum Kyu Globe). He turns giant, and that obviously calls for mecha fight. It comes with a catch, because Leo Red utilizes the Shining Kyu Globe once again, and this time powers-up both Libra Gold and... Ophiucus Silver. Yes... contrary to another previous complaint of mine, this power-up DOES affect other members too! Which is NICE. Then again, how come Raptor and Hammy weren't affected before? Don't tell me it's for men only (sexist much?). Oh well, the Hyper-Kick seals off Olmega's fate alongside his Consumarz. - Lucky's rousing speech about saving everyone, has converted Eris into his fans. She apologizes for not believing them, dumps Spada (don't worry Chef, you still have Raptor!), and namedrops the name of 'that mysterious guy' to the team: Sir Orion!!! According to Eris, Orion was "one of the saviors who once saved the universe!". Does this mean, he's a Kyuranger of previous generation? Or... probably is STILL one? NOTE: Wouldn't it be AMAZING if this previous 'saviors' consisted of mythological figures, like Orion, Herakles, Perseus, Cepheus, and Andromeda? It's a wishful thinking, but I'd go batshit crazy if that's the case. Also, don't forget that the Rebellion's mothership is also called... Orion. Hmmmm.... does this mean, there's a clear-cut connection somehow? Well... either that or TOEI is being really LAZY with names (casepoint: Vela/Vela, Keel/Carina, Scorpio/Scorpius, Oray-on/Orye-on. It's Tomayto/Tomahto, folks!). - But before Eris can explain any further, INTERRUPTION! The classic old Tokusatsu distraction technique has returned! Xiao suddenly alerts them about Stinger's situation, so the away team have to leave Planet Keel right away with a new goal: to retrieve ALL of Argo Navis components. Ouch!!! But what's Stinger doing with Puppis and Vela? Using both as bait to lure Scorpio out. Because it's time for a brotherly duel...

Overall: This wasn't a perfect episode. In my opinion, it veered somewhere between just okay and good. The humor seemed a bit forced, and ruined the serious aspect of Don Armage's desperate all-out invasion towards Earth. But what I did love about it, was the way it teased future developments using the 'Quest for Argo' as the foundation. Not only we've seen hints leading towards the arrival of future members, it might have also opened up possibilities to dive and/or peel even deeper into the past. I wouldn't be surprised, if Orion is later revealed to be the man who created the Kyu Globes in the first place. And perhaps, there might even be a link between him, and the true identity of Don Armage. For the same reason, I also hope that Eris will show up again in future episodes, despite how annoying her personality might have been. We're still not even halfway through the show, so it's unclear what kind of arcs we'll be seeing next. Here's hoping the writers will make good use of these potentials... Next week: It's up to you, Kotarou! Go save your big-bro Stinger... PS: Don't miss out the 1st teaser for Summer Movie "Kyuranger the Movie: Gueath Indaver no Gyakushuu". The title alone (direct English translation is "Gueath Indaver Strikes Back") is already an obvious shout-out to "Star Wars", but THIS? I mean LOL TOEI, that's obviously a Death Star, right? They're not even trying to be creative about its design... *sigh*. Oh, and apparently Over-Time omitted the footage that was aired right after. It was a promotion for Zyuohger Returns' V-Cinema, in case you're wondering. That one is set to be released TODAY, on June 28th, 2017!

Episode 19 Score: 7,7 out of 10

Visit THIS LINK to view a continuously updated listing of the Kyutama / Kyu Globes. Last Updated: June 27th, 2017 - Version 2.05. (WARNING: It might contain spoilers for future episodes)

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.

#tokusatsu #SuperSentai #kyuranger #uchu sentai kyuranger #uchuu sentai kyuranger #review

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thankyoumskobayashi · 8 years ago

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ex-aid ep 30

there is still no direct hint abt the accuracy of this post so i will go on to talk about what it means in terms of this post specifically my ep 30 predictions. then i will forecast possible content for episode 31 next week.

How I Was Right And Wrong Last Week:

ok the regrouping and planning thing happened less than the fighting pallad. i didn't expect that, but in the context it makes sense: fight pallad to give the others a few more seconds to live. i was totally right abt nico (she's the best, honestly XD) fighting pallad anyway.

in terms of powerups i was surprised taiga and hiiro weren't as enthusiastic abt the mighty lv. 0 gashat. they practically put together the maximum mighty x gashat for emu (or pre-assembled it before his bugster powers did the rest). it wasn't like snipe or brave had any gashats that could beat perfect knockout, either individually or as a team. still, i'm glad poppy didnt listen to that negativity and used the lv. 0 gashat anyway.

the gashat didn't destroy every bugster it comes into contact with, because that would be too easy for a toku show, but it disables bugster abilities within a specific radius. while poppy did not transform into genmu and genmu lv. 0's critical finisher wasn't shown, it is interesting that poppy can now control dan kuroto. whether this gashat will prove deadly to bugsters remains to be seen.

What's New This Ep:

ex-aid is at another change in its flow of power distribution. the mighty ult gashat has worn off its shine to be beaten by pallad's perfect knockout gashat. nico is the leading rideplayer in japan, with a squad of gamer driver users (legendary figures) ready to help her if she needs it. poppy's newest discovery and subsequent control over dan kuroto is about to change that. it makes me wonder if kamen sentai gorider and the other shorts were little prophecies to the next parts of the main plot....

i was pleased to notice that poppy and nico had their full transformations and fight onscreen, while hiiro (already an established male rider) had an implied transformation and fight that was cut for episode length. not to pick on hiiro or anything, but i thought that was cool of toei to do.

the poppy has blue eyes now thing was honestly confusing. pallad's eyes are red AND blue. does that mean he's a morally ambiguous bugster? we don't have any other humanoid bugsters' transformations to comare poppy to. but if we look at human riders, ex-aid's and snipe's are red. does this "blue eyes=good" thing apply to human gashat users as well?

nico commented on all that sciencey shit toei threw onto the cr set at the beginning of the series, and i could not agree more. it's A Lot, and no one ever uses it. i was also proud of poppy for getting serious abt the gashat when she needed to, and telling hiiro she could handle it bc even if she died getting it to work, she could just come back stronger bc she's a bugster. i'm glad she didn't have to die to do that, but i also got the feeling that the exaid writer was tired of the evil poppy arc and didnt want to go through resetting her w mighty ult again.

i thought the lv. 0 world effects were cool too, and the cinematic parallels between poppy and emu clicking their gashats to undertake a dangerous task within a minute of each other. i'll post screenshots after this, but it's rlly frcking cool. the Cinnamon Rolls rising to the challenge when pallad turns up the heat.

anyway pallad's choice of the abandoned lab to battle emu in was clearly there to throw him off. he made emu remember how they were separated, which was probably traumatic, then started fighting him. he also maintained that he was the better version of emu in every way: a better gamer, the source of his powers (including how he can fight), the fact that bugsters live forever even after being killed... he also copied emu's catchphrase, intending to rile him up even more.

the part abt the fate of the world.... pallad sounded like he was just taunting emu but im not so sure he was jokng. he tends to be the kind to say what he wants in a teasing/flirting way to emu, but be tight-lipped to everybody else, including dan early on in the show. as far as kr villains go, they give a few hints overall abt their endgame plan. somehow, i wouldn't be surprised if kr chronicle was distributed worldwide, similar to the demiaproject from ghost. however, i'm sure there is a much stronger endgame boss than pallad emu and the gang will have to beat before they save the world.

pallad was eventually cockblocked at the end of the episode, and vanished into blue and red pixels. he wasn't expecting dan kuroto to appear out of nowhere, controlled (somewhat) by poppy pipopapo and using the power to stop bugster powers. neither did emu expect to be saved like that. an argument xould probably be made (and further backed up by future episodes) that poppy made a mistake bringing dan back to life. i am not a fan of him myself, so i wasn't pleased by this development. but, it was the only option left to poppy in that moment. she, nico, taiga, hiiro, AND emu had all fought pallad amd none of their current gashats did anything. it was the only option available to them.

next episode will explore whether it is possible to bring kiriya back as a bugster just like kuroto was. i am hopeful that he will be, because i don't know why i'd watch the show (besides poppy and nico) if he wasn't. however, palladbs words after murduring a bunch of rideplayers might also be true: if you die in the game, you die in real life. i'd get a better sense of kiriya's return by looking at his actor's twitter than the next ep's preview tbh. he might have been ordered to keep it a secret nut he might also be dropping hints there. ya never know.

this also means that if pallad kills emu, emu can be brought back and kept at his beck and call. that would make it uniqely difficult for emu to defeat all the bugsters, as he'd have to fight off pallad, defeat the final boss, and then defeat himself???? i wouldn't be prepared for emu to die next ep but i also wouldn't get too comfortable with not having character death.

i give it t-1 episodes before pallad arrives at that conclusion to torment emu w that idea.

emu rn can't beat pallad, but dan kuroto can so he's safe for now. i hope that in addition to emu's inevitable powerup poppy, nico, taiga, and hiiro all get powerups too. and kiriya if he returns. i missed his smile.

that was a fucking long rant and thanks for reading any part of it if you did. phew

#ex-aid spoilers #ex-aid speculation #long post #kamen rider ex-aid #should i start adding pics to make these easier to read? im serious

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zemymoon-blog · 8 years ago

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Sailor Moon: The Viz Dub - Episode 1

I’m excited for this, you guys. I know I always say how stoked I am to watch the DiC/Cloverway dub because it’s notoriously bad and all, but there’s a part of me that’s hoping the Viz dub is going to be equally bad but for different reasons: I feel like the harder you try to repair something like this and make it not terrible, the unintentionally worse it ends up being. It’s like how Hollywood keeps trying to redeem the DC Universe but they just keep making it worse.

I’ve also never seen a complete dubbed episode of Sailor Moon before. I don’t know if I can handle hearing anyone but Kotono Mitsuishi speak whenever Usagi opens her mouth, so this will be interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind dubbed anime, I just know about this particular show’s reputation when it comes to American adaptations, and I know that it usually involves a lot of people groaning and saying “Just watch the Japanese version”.

Anyway, here we go! “Moonlight Densetsu”, it’s been too long. I haven’t touched the original anime in ages, honestly. I have to say, I kinda missed it!

A voice-over narration is telling me that the name of this episode is “The Crybaby: Usagi’s Beautiful Transformation”, which is not the usual translation of this episode’s title that I’m familiar with, but okay.

From what I remember about the title cards, it’s always Usagi reading the episode title, so I’m going to assume this is Usagi’s dub voice I’m hearing. So she’s not as high-pitched as Kotono Mitsuishi, but then again, who is?

We open on the ever-classic shot of Usagi oversleeping, and immediately we get this gem: “Hi, I’m Usagi Dzoo-kino.”

Excuse me? What the hell did she just say? Usagi Zucchini? Usagi Digiorno? Is Viz retconning Usagi’s name because she eats a lot? I would have gone with Usagi Tortellini personally, but that’s just me.

Ikuko Linguine barks at Usagi to get up and the stereotypical “oh no, I’m late for school!” scene from every anime ever commences, sans toast-in-mouth. Ikuko tells Usagi not to forget her lunch, cueing the dorkiest “thanks, Mom” I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m starting to feel like maybe Viz took the whole “Usagi is clumsy and a dweeb” thing a little too far when voice directing. Isn’t Usagi supposed to be immature but still cute? She’s kinda giving me Kimmie Gibbler vibes here, and not in a good way.

So Usagi books it down the sidewalk and comes across a bunch of shitty kids kicking a cat. Animal abuse aside, why are these kids not in school? Where are their parents?

After chasing them off, Usagi peels a Band-Aid off of the cat’s forehead and somehow it doesn’t rip a bunch of fur off along with it. If this show wasn’t already unrealistic enough, the cat just sits there and lets her peel the Band-Aid off. Usagi chooses to be weirded out by the cat’s crescent moon-shaped mark on its forehead rather than the fact that this is the most passive cat that has ever existed. Seriously, it doesn’t claw her eyes out or anything!

So the cat does a sick backflip and then Usagi runs off to school, loudly wailing and ruining her vocal chords along the way. Her teacher, who also cannot pronounce “Tsukino” correctly, makes Usagi stand outside in the hallway.

I’m going to pause here for a moment so that I can bring up how much I love how stubby Usagi is in the first season. Remember how she looked in Stars? She was like 7 feet tall! Being a Sailor Senshi must provide an excellent source of vitamins and minerals because everyone else gets tall as hell, too. Shit, even Chibi-Usa is WNBA material by the end of SuperS.

Anyway, Usagi stands out in the hallway and her teacher, Haruna, comes out to scold her, and for a brief moment she almost has a Brooklyn accent, which got me super excited because I know Naru in the old dub had a similar accent and I find unnecessary obnoxious accents hilarious and wonderful. Haruna gives Usagi shit for failing a test, which is big talk coming from someone who is leaving their entire class unsupervised so that they can go yell at a 14-year-old for not understanding their schoolwork. Stay in your lane, Haruna.

Naru and Usagi are talking outside when suddenly Umino shows up and HIS VOICE IS SO BAD, YOU GUYS. Like, way worse than I ever could have imagined. It’s really terrible. I can’t even describe it in words. Usagi is so uncomfortable with Umino’s voice that she becomes even more stubby. Naru’s voice is surprisingly bland, which I guess is preferable to “awful”. Maybe it’ll grow on me in time. I hope so, because Naru is the best character in the show (after Usagi’s dad, a.k.a. Yung T$ukino).

Naru brings up Sailor V and Viz had the audacity to replace the classic “SAI - LOR - V” sound bite with what I assume is Sailor V yelling her own name really awkwardly. Did that really need to be dubbed over? It wasn’t even in Japanese.

Speaking of which, why won’t Toei just suck it up and animate Codename: Sailor V already? It’s the perfect story length to be an OVA.

So Usagi pretends not to know who Sailor V is, which I have a hard time accepting because Usagi’s entire life revolves around video games, television, and comic books, and Sailor V is supposedly a hot media franchise in the Sailor Moon universe. There is no way Usagi hasn’t heard of Sailor V before. Even Umino has heard of Sailor V, and Umino doesn’t come across as the type of person who would keep up with media celebrities.

Naru immediately begins sympathizing with some jewel thieves that Sailor V caught because apparently “jewelry is just so beautiful, I can totally understand why someone would want to steal some of it”. Doesn’t your mom own a jewelry store? Don’t you see and handle jewelry basically every day? You’d think someone who is around something all the time would be unfazed by it, and aside from that, wouldn’t someone whose family relies on their jewelry store’s business to survive be a little less sympathetic towards jewel thieves? Whatever Naru.

That high-pitched, early 90′s, “dungeon-level-from-a-SNES-RPG” music is playing to signify the scene switch to the Dark Kingdom, and I’m honestly terrified of what Beryl is going to sound like.

Queen Beryl asks if anyone has found the Silver Crystal yet and I’m relieved to say that her voice is actually pretty decent! On the other hand, the group of monsters responding “No!” is hilarious and awful.

Jadeite shows up and just sounds absolutely aroused at the very thought of being an evil villain. His voice is dripping with uncontrollable lust as he explains that his monster, Morga, is busy collecting human energy, which is a thing evil villains do, because of reasons.

Suddenly the scene changes to Naru’s mother’s jewelry store, which is packed full of people taking advantage of their big sale. I bet I can guess where the human energy is gonna come from!

Enter Usagi and Naru, who are both a little weirded out that Naru’s mom is way too into selling off all this jewelry. Naru’s voice is starting to feel a little too mature for her character in my opinion, though at least she’s actually attempting to voice act, unlike Usagi, who sounds like she is just now reading her script for the first time. You remember in school when you had to read in front of the class and whenever you had to read a character’s dialogue you would put the tiniest bit of effort into sounding like a person emoting, but not too much, and still ultimately sounded like someone who’s just reading text out loud? That’s what Usagi sounds like through this whole episode.

Predictably, Naru’s mom is revealed to the audience as Morga pretty much immediately.

And then she says it. She actually says it. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but these words really come out of her mouth, straight out of a 12-year-old’s fanfic:

“Foolish humans.”

She really says that! And then she mentions a “great ruler”, which I assume is supposed to be Metalia, but the way she says it sounds like she’s in a cult or lives under a dictatorship or something, and it just sounds really awkward.

The jewelry starts sucking all the energy out of the women in the jewelry store, and I have to wonder, if the Dark Kingdom really wanted all this energy from all these people, why wouldn’t they just have Morga give the jewelry away for free? It seems like it’d be more effective, because I’m sure not every visit to this store results in a sale. This leads me to believe that Morga’s actually in it for the financial gain. Morga knows she could just give it all away, but she also knows that she can still make a hefty financial profit from marking down prices due to the larger influx of customers than usual, and with the extra money they’re making from the sale, the Dark Kingdom can start investing in stocks and bonds, and maybe someday they’ll be able to afford to not live in a cave, or at least have some plush carpet put down to brighten up the room, or something.

Naru gets her mom’s attention and suddenly Morga remembers that she should probably stop smirking and saying “foolish humans” in public, and she puts the “normal human woman” act back on. She offers Usagi a big discount on a diamond ring since she’s Naru’s friend, and then Usagi is promptly flattened by a stampede of sale-obsessed shoppers who are continuing to handle and try on expensive jewelry completely unsupervised in a very large store that has no visible security guards, metal detectors, or other employees. See, this is why jewelry stores get robbed in this town! Where’s Sailor V when you need her?

Usagi laments that although she’s pretty spoiled, she’s not that spoiled, and her dad, Big Money Kenji, will never agree to buy her expensive jewelry after the bad grade she got on her test. That’s okay, maybe he’ll buy you an iPad, or a better voice actress. Frustrated, she leaves the store and chucks her balled-up test at a random passerby’s head.

The passerby is understandably annoyed at having garbage pelted at him and calls Usagi “bun-head” in a way that for some reason sounds like he’s implying her head looks like a butt. Well, I mean, it kinda does, from the back. If that wasn’t brutal enough, he un-balls her test and immediately starts making fun of her shitty score and comes dangerously close to blatantly calling her a dumb-ass.

Usagi takes her test back and tells the guy he needs to mind his own business, which, quite frankly, I agree with. What kind of 35-year-old man ridicules a preteen for their test scores? Usagi proceeds to stomp away and says, verbatim, “stupid jerk and his purple pleated pants”, which is the funniest thing I’ve heard all night. She almost sounds offended that he’s wearing purple pleated pants, as if that’s the most problematic aspect of her interaction with him just now.

Usagi looks back at Purple Pleated Pants guy, or PPP, and sees that he’s checking out the jewelry store. I also can’t help but notice that suddenly the entire 50-person crowd that was outside the store 2 minutes ago has vanished. I also can’t help but notice that under any other circumstances, a guy wearing dark sunglasses and scouting a jewelry store in a town that is known for jewelry store robberies would be suspicious, but this guy didn’t smirk and say “foolish humans” to himself while menacing music played in the background, so I guess he can’t be all bad.

Usagi passes Game Center Crown, the local arcade, and notices this poster in the window, which I absolutely love. I wish there was a real-life reproduction of this poster for sale somewhere. I would buy it in a heartbeat. Just look at it! It’s got everything: an anime schoolgirl superhero, random mobsters with laser guns, Space Invaders aliens exploding out of the corner, and a minty green backdrop that just screams “early 90′s bathroom”. I’m a little uncomfortable with the guy inside the arcade, though. Not the guy playing the game, but the guy behind the counter. Who the hell is that?

Seriously, am I the only one creeped out by this dude?! He reminds me of the bartender from The Shining.

After whining about how jealous she is that she doesn’t get to live the high-activity, high-responsibility lifestyle that comes with being a crime fighter, Usagi heads home, but not before she’s spotted by that cat from earlier who apparently has the ability to speak, although not well enough to pronounce “Tsukino” correctly. This cat is relieved to see Usagi, which makes her the only character so far who views Usagi with any emotion besides contempt.

Commercial break!

I wonder if they’ll keep the--no, they dubbed over it. And boy, does it sound awful.

Over at Usagi’s house, which for some reason looks like a Renoir painting (check out Based Kenji’s purple pimpmobile!), Ikuko Frappuccino greets Usagi at the door and asks what grade she got on her test as if she expects anything other than an F. Ikuko seems legitimately surprised and angry that Usagi got a 30, but I mean, surely this can’t be the first time Usagi brought home a low test score. She’s also chronically late for school, forgets her lunch, and easily distracted. Instead of having Usagi tested for potential ADHD, Ikuko makes the rational decision of kicking her middle school-aged daughter out of the house. Usagi cries and bangs on the door to be let back inside, but then Shingo just walks right up to the door and opens it, so the problem isn’t that Ikuko locked the door, the problem is that Usagi is too stupid to use the doorknob and Ikuko knows this. Usagi decides to roundhouse kick the door like a caveman and instantly shatters her kneecap.

And man, Shingo has a shockingly deep voice! His voice is deeper than Jadeite’s, even! And he talks like a TOTALLY COOL DUDE while mocking Usagi and almost sounds like Sonic the Hedgehog while doing it. What the hell kind of 10 year old boy sounds like that?!

Back at the jewelry store, the shoppers continue to have their energy drained away by the jewelry they’re wearing, and...hey, that fat woman was there earlier, too! Damn, lady! You’ve been there all day! Don’t you have other places to be?

Bargain hunters start dropping left and right, and if the spooky purple tint over the store isn’t indication enough that something nefarious is going down, Naru’s mom finally reveals herself to Naru as a monster! Her “evil” laugh is really bad.

Logically, it seems like Sailor V should be around for this sort of thing, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Where is she? She was apparently on the scene recently for that other jewelry store robbery, but today when an actual monster appears, she’s just completely AWOL. Is “actual monster” just where Sailor V draws the line? Honestly, I can’t say I blame her. The monster even has its own Psycho violin screech!

Back at Usagi’s place, Usagi flops around on her bed while talking to herself about how exhausting it is to be bratty and spoiled. I guess the cops finally showed up and made Ikuko Rigatoni bring her pet howler monkey inside. Predictably, Usagi decides against doing her homework and takes a nap instead.

But then the window opens!

I dunno, man...With all these jewelry store heists and robberies going on in this town lately, I’d keep my doors and windows locked at all times.

But as it turns out, the intruder is even worse than a robber. It’s a cat. And it talks.

Usagi seems surprised that “the cat with the bald spot” is in her room, and her voice actress really over-acts while attempting to sound...I dunno...dismayed? Shocked? Upset? Hungry?

The cat is quick to correct Usagi in that it’s not a bald spot, which sounds like something someone with a bald spot would say. She introduces herself as Luna and thanks Usagi for removing the Band-Aid earlier, but Usagi’s not having it and goes back to sleep. Like any spoiled brat, Usagi remains unresponsive until Luna appeases her with material goods. Luna literally backflips into the air and farts out a shiny piece of jewelry, and somehow this is enough to make Usagi suddenly trust this talking cat entirely.

You know who else is very forthcoming with enchanted jewelry? The Dark Kingdom.

Luna tries to explain to Usagi that some bad shit is going down in Tokyo lately, but Usagi just ignores her and admires herself and her new shiny trinket in the mirror. Then Luna calls her a “guardian” and I just...Ugh. “Guardian” is such an awkward translation and I hate it. When did everyone decide to start using it instead of “soldier”? I even would have taken an untranslated “senshi” instead of “guardian”. Maybe I’m just picky. Anyway, Luna explains to Usagi that she needs to find the other “guardians” and also their princess, and Usagi is surprisingly accepting of this new information compared to how accepting she was of a talking cat 30 seconds ago, which was “not very”.

Luna continues to lecture Usagi and then...Wait a minute! There’s a Sailor V book right on Usagi’s dresser!

Look, see? It’s right there! I knew Usagi was full of shit! She’s known about Sailor V this entire time!

Anyway, Luna tells Usagi to say “Moon Prism Power, Make Up”, which she does, triggering the first of many, many, many transformation sequences throughout this show. Sailor Moon immediately freaks out about having transformed, even though she seemed super stoked about it before she did it. What is there to even be upset about? You even got your own theme music, which is more than you can say about any of the other Sailor Senshi this season. Her voice actress rather unconvincingly yells and whines during a scene where her character is meant to sound confused and upset.

Sailor Moon’s Stranger Danger™ hair bun shields start flashing and she can hear Naru crying out for help, and I just realized that she never, ever seems to have this ability ever again for the rest of the show. Were they just one-use-only, or what? Is that why Luna ends up giving her a communicator device later on? Sailor Moon seems strangely calm about the fact that Naru sounds like she’s in grave danger, and Luna tells her that it’s her duty to go save her friend. Wouldn’t it normally be Sailor V’s duty to fight bad guys, or has Luna just given up on Sailor V doing her damn job?

Across town, Naru is actively being strangled by her mom, because we all know best friends like to get competitive, and Naru is trying to one-up Usagi on who has the worse mom.

Except it’s not really her mom, it’s a monster! A monster with incredible business sense!

Morga’s exact words after this are “I’ve locked your mother up in the basement, and after I’m done killing you...I’m gonna kill her too? And then send the both of you! To the world of the dead!” and it’s delivered so poorly I had to pause the video until I could stop laughing.

But just when all seems lost for Naru, Sailor Moon arrives on the scene!

Sailor Moon introduces herself as a “pretty guardian”, showing unwarranted confidence for someone who makes bad grades and has a head that looks like a butt. Morga responds with, “Are those stupid catchphrases supposed to scare me?” which is something I’ve always wanted a monster in this show to say, but the fact that it’s a dubbed-in line and not part of the original dialogue somehow makes it a little less satisfying.

Morga awakens the zombified customers and they all start attacking Sailor Moon, including Big Mama who is still rocking those emerald earrings. Sailor Moon suddenly realizes that being a crime fighter involves fighting, and she starts to panic, knowing that the only thing she’s ever destroyed was an entire cheesecake in one sitting. Then this one lady comes at her with a broken bottle, like it’s a bar fight! Holy shit!

Luna expresses dismay that Sailor Moon isn’t fighting back, but it’s not like you bothered to teach Sailor Moon any of her attacks, so this is partially your fault too, Luna. Sailor Moon starts crying, sorta, though she mostly just sounds tired.

But then out of nowhere, someone throws a rose at the ground like a dart! I guess this is enough to placate the monster, because it stops trying to kill Sailor Moon.

The source of the rose dart introduces himself as Tuxedo Mask and, in the same breath, tells Sailor Moon that crying isn’t going to solve any of her problems. This immediately turns out to be false, because Sailor Moon starts to cry even more and somehow her Stranger Danger™ hair bun shields amplify her bad voice acting into 100% WEAPONIZED WHINING.

Somehow this causes the army of bargain-hunting zombies to faint, and I guess the one-use-only rule applies to this hair bun power as well, because this is the only time I remember it happening.

Luna finally tells Sailor Moon to throw her tiara and say “Moon Tiara Action”, and sounds surprisingly pissed while doing so! Damn, Luna, what’s gotten into you? The animation sequence for Moon Tiara Action starts and...am I crazy, or is the background for this sequence not usually green? Usagi Fettuccine throws her tiara like a hot pizza pie (a joke that is going to come back and bite me when she actually does throw a pizza in Stars) and hits Morga with it, turning her into dust.

Can I just comment on how huge Naru’s mom’s jewelry store is? Naru’s family must be loaded! Jadeite, who I assume is supposed to be hanging out in the Dark Kingdom instead of actually helping Morga, curses the Youma of Wall Street for failing him. To be fair, she was doing a pretty good job of collecting energy (and money!) until Sailor Moon showed up, and this is literally the first time Sailor Moon has ever appeared anywhere, so how could Morga have predicted that would even happen? Morga’s not really to blame here. If you were so worried about her safety and success, why didn’t you send a couple more monsters to act as backup? I blame Jadeite for this one.

Tuxedo Mask congratulates Sailor Moon on a job well done and tells her he won’t forget what happened here tonight in a tone of voice that sounds really creepy. Instead of immediately calling the police, Sailor Moon decides she’s in love with him, and hearts fly out of her eyes. Wait, what’s the appeal here? You could barely see his face, and he didn’t even do anything aside from throw a rose at the ground. He didn’t even participate in fighting the monster. He literally just showed up in his Abraham Lincoln hat, gave some bad advice, and then jumped out a window. Whatever floats your boat, Usagi.

The next day at school, Naru (who suddenly sounds 20 years older) gushes about the cool dream she had last night: a superhero named Sailor Moon showed up and saved her from a monster! Two other nameless girls apparently had the exact same dream, but I have to wonder...If all of these girls were at the jewelry store last night when Sailor Moon fought the monster, wouldn’t they have been passed out by then? Did they somehow retain some level of consciousness while physically comatose? Not gonna lie, that’s pretty horrifying. Naru tries to get Usagi’s attention, but she’s just so incredibly tired! “Nighty night.” Ah, classic Usagi. Roll credits!

I don’t know, you guys. I was hoping this new dub would be really bad, and it was, but aside from a couple moments here and there, it wasn’t bad enough to be funny. It was just kind of boring. Somehow the stilted voice acting of the protagonist and the strangely-casted voices of a couple major characters just made the entire episode feel really plastic and hollow. All of the charm of the original was lost behind a constant need to talk really slowly/loudly or just howl uncontrollably, and half of the characters just sounded like they were reading off of cue cards. I mean, from an objective standpoint, it’s a better dub than the DiC adaptation from the 90′s, but it’s also a lot less entertaining. I think Queen Beryl’s voice was the only one I actually liked immediately.

So, there you have it! That’s Episode 1 of Sailor Moon with the Viz-dubbed English audio enabled. As bland as the first episode was, I still have high expectations for later episodes when the show has more characters. Hopefully the other Sailor Senshi will sound at least half competent and will drown out the sound of Usagi enough that it’ll actually be a watchable dub. Or maybe it’ll just sound even worse, and it’ll be awful enough that I’ll find it funny. Who knows? Either way, here’s hoping Episode 2 has more to talk about.

Until next time, pasta fans.

#sailor moon #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #season 1

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